Cyrus's Story

Cyrus Pattinson was raised in Alnwick and was excluded from school for fighting before discovering boxing as a teenager. He went on to represent Great Britain for six years and is now an undefeated professional for Matchroom Boxing. He has spoken candidly on our podcast My Family, Mental Health…and Me about growing up whilst his mother was suffering from Schizoaffective disorder.

"The first time I experienced mental illness as a child, I remember sleeping in the same bed as my mam and being woken up in the middle of the night by screaming and crying — a sound I’ll never forget.

Me and my brother stood on the landing as my grandma rushed from her home to help, then person after person coming in from the crisis team, and my dad. We couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t let anybody upstairs or stand on certain steps on the staircase.

I’m still not entirely sure what brought it on; divorce, financial stress, the struggles of being a single parent and bringing up two children?

I remember my mam being hospitalised for the first time — me and my brother were split up and sent to separate grandparents as we were too much to handle together. We weren’t allowed to visit, but now I understand why that was.

Later on, at other breakdowns, I remember my mam looking straight through me with such confusion, unable to speak, like she didn’t know who I was. It would have been extremely difficult and more damaging to have experienced that at a younger age.

Schizoaffective disorder came in many shapes and forms in our home. Coming home from school to see numerous new locks placed on doors in the house, and my mam interrogating me and my brother about who we had let in the house and where the items were that she couldn’t find. As a teenager it was frustrating, and regrettably I remember punching holes in the living room door because of the emotion I couldn’t control.

Boxing was always a form of self-expression that helped to change my direction in life early on. I am so grateful I found that form of therapy at such a crucial and pivotal age.

Many social workers and doctors came through our doors throughout mine and my brother’s life, but I always feel that there wasn’t as much support for us. Our middle school was the first outside form of support I think we received — they gave me and my brother a week off after we were sleeping in class because we’d been looking after my mam night after night.

It was a great feeling coming across Our Time, knowing that people other than myself acknowledge the void in support for children of parents with mental illness.

Mental illness is something that will be around forever, so it’s important to give children and young adults the support, tools, and support network they desperately need.

Thank you to Our Time for taking action."

Some details of this story may have be changed to protect a young person's identity.

If you would like to share your own story, please get in touch with Nadya Bettioui, Our Time Voices Project Lead: nadya.bettioui@ourtimecharity.org.uk