STARTING A CONVERSATION ABOUT MENTAL illness WITH A YOUNG PERSON
Grow your confidence in talking openly with children and young people who have a parent with a mental illness.
“Our research has shown that having just one trusted adult can be crucial for their emotional wellbeing”
Children of parents with a mental illness can find it harder to talk about their worries than other children. They may attempt to protect their families from additional stress or concern and isolation is a common issue.
Unfortunately, right now in the UK there is no distinct care pathway for children of parents with mental illness that helps to systematically address their needs.
Having just one trusted adult is an evidence-based method of support for young people that can help them to cope with challenging circumstances, and a key part of our KidsTime workshops. Adults who work with children, as well as family members and parents, can help children to understand their feelings, find activities that they enjoy, and cope with their situation.
Read our guidance to gain confidence in talking openly about the issues, helping children feel safe to open up and navigate their worries.
Take steps to improve your own understanding of mental health and the impact of parental mental illness
People are often afraid of things they don’t understand, so education is an important part of changing perceptions about mental illness. By learning, you can be ready to hear and support children, showing them that they are not alone in facing complex situations.
Understanding trauma
Children who are living with parental mental illness may experience more than they are able to cope with. Trauma isn’t a mental health condition in itself, but experiencing trauma can result in a young person struggling with their mental health.
Children of parents with mental illness are more vulnerable to ACEs - Adverse Childhood Experiences. Adverse childhood experiences are highly stressful and potentially traumatic events or situations that occur during childhood and/or adolescence. ACEs impact a child’s development, their relationships with others, and increase the risk of engaging in health-harming behaviours and experiencing poorer mental and physical health outcomes in adulthood.
Watch Young Mind's film explaining how to talk about trauma.
Let children know that it's natural to experience a range of emotions
It’s easy to think that children don’t have any worries because they are so young, but we all experience a broad spectrum of emotions in our daily lives. Children who have a parent with a mental illness may not feel ready to talk about everything that is happening in their lives, but they are still likely to be managing positive and negative emotions whilst at home and at school.
Even though you can't fix the illness, you can still help children to feel seen and heard, and this can make a big difference to a young person's ability to cope.
Read Young Mind's guide to talking to a young person about mental health.
Use tools or activities to support very young children
Children may not be ready for therapeutic support, but you can help them to gain the language and tools they may need to talk about emotions later on.
For young children, you could watch one of our animations together, which help to explain parental mental illness in simple terms, or try reading a book together from our recommended reads for under-7s or recommended reads for ages 7-11.
For older children and young people, you could share our stories shared by young people who have gone through similar experiences or take a look at our recommended reads for children aged 11+.
Help children and young people to cope with stress
When children have a parent with a mental illness, it can be very stressful, especially if the parent isn't getting the help they need. They may be exposed to volatile behaviour, be separated from their parents without appropriate explanation, or be required to speak to professionals including doctors and social workers about their parent's condition. On top of this, they are more likely to experience isolation, bullying or discrimination.
Stress causes the body to respond by going into a fight or flight response. The side effects of these hormones may cause anxiety or depression. It's important to help children feel validated in their emotions and find healthy ways of coping. One way of coping might be to find a simple activity or hobby that makes them feel happy and relaxed. Exercise can help and some people find that meditation and breathing exercises make a difference to day-to-day life.
Read The Children's Society's further information on stress.
If you or a young person you know needs help right now, please contact one of our trusted partners for one-to-one support. If it’s an emergency, you're in danger or feel a life is at risk, please call 999 or go to your local A&E.
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