what support is available for children who have a parent with a mental illness?

As part of her master’s degree, Sarah Morgan conducted a literature review of the latest research and support available for children and young people in the UK who have a parent with a mental illness. Here, she discusses therapeutic support and other options available for young people.

Although many children who have a parent with a mental illness may face challenges that include emotional distress, isolation and difficulties at school, having already had contact with mental health services regarding their parent’s condition, they may be understandably unwilling to see themselves as in need of mental health support. Thus, seeking out personal therapeutic support might not be the answer they are looking for.

Sarah’s paper draws attention the gap in accessible and specific support, and the role of alternative interventions. Her research underscores the role of schools and community organisations in providing safe spaces where young people can express themselves and seek guidance, as well as family-focused interventions and school programmes to help provide stability.

By fostering an environment of understanding and empathy, institutions including schools, hospitals and other community spaces can make a big difference for children and young people who have a parent with a mental illness.  

"Being the child of a parent who has a mental health condition can feel like a confusing and daunting place to be at times. Through my research, I investigated the types of support available and learnt more about how personal therapeutic support fits into the picture.

Although a range of mental health support options are available to young people, there is currently no standard therapeutic support route for the children of parents who have a mental illness.

Being offered therapeutic support is often the default response of professionals and services, without explanation, consideration or regard for a child’s own opinions, fundamentally misinterpreting what children and young people perceive their needs to be.

As such, Our Time is the UK’s only charity that is dedicated to raising awareness of the specific challenges associated with growing up with a parent who struggles with their mental health.

Our Time understands that not all young people with a parent with mental illness need mental health support and that we must find other routes to help them cope with the challenges that they face. Many young people may be worried that they will be treated as if they too have a mental health condition, and so may avoid seeking support. By accepting counselling, they may feel that their worst fears are being confirmed, that they are at risk of developing their own mental illness.

Our Time’s KidsTime workshops are an innovative model that was developed in order to help meet this challenge and give the whole family space and time to explore the impact of their diagnosis.

If you are a young person or adult who is considering reaching out for therapeutic support, you may be interested in what options are available to you.”

Therapeutic support available for children and young people

“Talking therapies are defined as ‘psychological treatments for mental and emotional problems like stress, anxiety and depression’. You may have heard of options including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CPT), Play Therapy or even Person-Centred Counselling. Such support may be offered to you individually, in groups, online or face to face.

As a young person in the UK, you may be able to access therapeutic support through Children, Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) by asking your GP or school to make a referral. You may also be able to access therapeutic support through in-school counselling services or Mental Health Support Teams (MHST). In some parts of the UK there are also regional charities that can provide such support such as Mind and through charities like The Mix and SHOUT you can chat online.

You and your family may also be able to afford private therapeutic support by searching for a counsellor on the BACP or Counselling Directory websites. Although costly, this has the advantage of skipping the waiting list, which for CAMHS can unfortunately be many months.

This space and time may allow you to reflect on past experiences, talk about different feelings and emotions, and build a trusted relationship with your counsellor. Being able to talk to a professional adult in a non-judgemental space can help you to problem solve particular issues so that when they arise in the future, you can move past them more quickly and with more empathy for yourself.

If you feel like the relationship isn’t right, it’s okay to acknowledge this and share it with the organisation in order to find a therapist who you feel more comfortable with.”

Making the decision to engage in counselling

“The options available and the lack of standardised support for children who have experienced growing up with a parent with a mental illness may bring up a mixture of feelings.

This is something I explored as part of my master’s degree research, which I undertook to become a qualified counsellor. I spoke to adults who had grown up with a parent with a mental illness and received counselling. Their negative feedback included being feeling like they had been forced into therapy without explanation, and feeling misunderstood and lost in the therapeutic relationship.

However, individuals reported more positive experiences with support when they themselves had made the active decision to engage. For some, they felt that they were finally ready to engage with therapy due to their age and the time they had had to process their parent’s diagnosis. For others, something had taken place in their personal life that had propelled them towards wanting to receive support. Either way, the autonomy was an important part of what made the experience positive.

This view is supported by wider research, including that by Alan Cooklin on which Our Time was founded. Cooklin’s view was that children who have grown up with a parent with a mental illness want professionals to understand their needs better, and be involved in the decision-making process.”

Other options for children who have a parent with a mental illness

“If you don’t feel ready for therapeutic support, then it’s ok if this is not the right time for you.

You could consider joining a local Young Carers group if you would like to connect with others who may have gone through similar experiences. This type of peer support could help you to feel more understood, more hopeful, and less isolated. Carer’s Trust provides a tool to help you find a local service, as well as general advice and resources for young carers.

If you’re between 11 to 18 years old, Mind has a list of useful organisations and services that can offer you support and information.

You could also take some time to explore some of Our Time’s resources. Reading could be a good place to start to learn more about your own emotional wellbeing. Try reading a book from Our Time’s recommended reads for under-7s,recommended reads for ages 7-11 or recommended reads for children aged 11+.”

This blog was contributed by Sarah Morgan, Child and Young Person Counsellor, London